HOW TO: Respond to Difficult Conversations
In case conversation veers off course—these Dos and Donts will help you get everybody back on the positive track.
Do
Validate FIRST. Always start by giving people a chance to feel heard and understood, even if you don’t agree.
Don’t
Tell the other person how they should feel or think. Avoid telling them that their viewpoints are wrong or lesser.
EXAMPLES
“I’m so sorry, I can understand why you’re upset.”
“I hear you. That is a valid set of questions/concerns.”
Do
Drop, stop, and roll with it!
Drop your expectations and emotions.
Stop and take time to actively listen.
Roll with it. If possible, provide a resolution to the issue without arguing, or escalate the conversation, if necessary.
Use the helpful Uh-Oh: Escalation Tree!
Don’t
Take it personally or get defensive. Avoid “listening to respond” where you craft a reply as the other person is still talking. Avoid an argument: if the issue can’t be resolved calmly, escalate it.
Do
Remember, you REPRESENT!
Golden Rule: communicate unto others as you’d like them to communicate with you.
Align your behavior and speech with Hagerty Drivers Club values.
Regardless of how others approach you, always demonstrate and cultivate a culture of respect, inclusion, and kindness.
Don’t
“Match their energy” (it’s tempting, we know)—instead, rise above! Avoid promoting your values, beliefs, and ideas in a challenging situation—it’s not about us as individuals, it’s always about our greater Hagerty Drivers Club community.
Do
When the need arises or it would make someone feel better, offer:
to escalate a concern
to provide contact information so they can reach out for the best support
Don’t
Answer questions when you don’t know the answer—that’s why the Concierge and Hagerty contacts exist! Avoid making promises to change anything about Hagerty Drivers Club or Hagerty overall.
Use the helpful Uh-Oh: Escalation Tree!
Do
If you witness conflict or insensitivity between members of your Chapter, or towards a vendor or community partner, you may be able to diffuse and redirect.
Don’t
Be silent. As Chapter Lead, you can set expectations and influence others. Avoid “taking sides” or adding to a conversation, even if you personally agree with one side or think comments are funny or interesting—it’s your role to nurture an inclusive community for all!
EXAMPLES
“Hey, y’all, this is a difficult topic to talk about, and it’s easy to have misunderstandings—what’s another conversation topic we’ll all enjoy?”
“I’m gonna wave a yellow flag here—let’s make sure we avoid anything that’s not uplifting to everybody. Let’s move the conversation on!”
If there is any abusive, hateful, or hurtful speech or conflict in your Chapter, please email the concierge immediately with details of the situation.
Concierge Email:
concierge@hdcchapterlead.com